As many of you know, Suzy McCall’s beautiful 16-year-old, Sallie, died suddenly on Sunday, May 12. Experiencing a heartbreak beyond words, Suzy, the founder and spiritual director of LAMB, has been shatterred, as any mother would be. She had raised sweet Sallie since she was six months. Sallie was one of our very first “God’s Littlest Lambs” that the Lord used to lead the ministry to His vision for starting the LAMB Children’s Home. Many of us have known and loved Sallie all of her life. She was such a precious, loving child. The whole LAMB community is grieving. Yet we are not grieving as those without hope (Thessalonians 4:13,14) as we know that Sallie is with the Lord Jesus, whom she loved, and we will all be together again one day. It helps to know that Jesus wept when his dear friend Lazarus died. He is close to the brokenhearted.

Here is an email from Suzy sent on May 17:

I guess you all know by now that my beautiful, beloved Sallie took something toxic and died. Whether or not her intention was to die we will never know. She didn’t leave a message. We are all dealing with emotional trauma beyond what we have ever known. She was the least squeaky wheel, so even though I knew she was depressed, and was consulting with friends about what to do and how to do it in this country of broken-down healthcare, I obviously did not move quickly enough. She was suffering more deeply than I could see. She never complained, and in fact apologized for being a burden. Of course I told her she wasn’t, but she wasn’t hearing, I guess.

We are surrounded by loving support, both near and far. I feel Jesus holding us. Still, something inside me has crumbled, and the Holy Spirit will have to put it back together, or make something new. I don’t understand my family or my own life without Sallie in it. A part of me resists reaching a new understanding. I want her here with us, even though I am confident that she is with Jesus and free.   

My other children are also grieving. Our wider community is grieving. Yet we hope. Jesus is our Hope. For two years, our community has been studying and reflecting upon what it means to suffer with hope in our context.  I never suspected that the context would become so personal for me and my family. Just as LAMB is gaining sweet momentum again, we are dealing with a crash landing. Bless you for holding us, too. Your love strengthens me so that I can somehow continue to mother. I need loads of grace.

Please keep Suzy and her children in your prayers. Please also pray for all of our young people at LAMB, all of whom loved Sallie. We are doing suicide assessments for each child as I write this and finding that some of them are at high risk for suicide. We are trusting that though the enemy meant this for evil, God will use this for His greater purposes, more than we possibly imagine. For our good Father in heaven, who knows when every sparrow falls to the ground, is at work beyond what we can see.